


Miles Away

by kenwaylights



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Cross-Posted on Tumblr, F/M, Fluff, Gender-neutral Reader, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Other, POV Second Person, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Skype
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 16:42:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15417219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kenwaylights/pseuds/kenwaylights
Summary: You and Bucky have these tech rings that allow you to feel each other’s heartbeats when you can’t be together.





	Miles Away

**Author's Note:**

> Recommended listening: “Same Sea (Acoustic)” by LIGHTS [ [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5VpyEmBurs) | [lyrics](https://genius.com/Lights-same-sea-lyrics) ]
> 
> Inspired very loosely by [this Tweet,](https://me.me/i/facetime-me-right-now-marcus-know-your-resting-heart-rate-6500326) but like...wholesome instead.

He jolted awake, struggling to catch his breath, when his phone vibrated next to his head on the pillow.

It took a second for his eyes to focus on the screen, but when they did, he frowned.

 

**_Hey, your pulse is going haywire. It’s 3AM where you are. You okay?_ **—** **

 

He fiddled with the black and red band around his left third finger, twisting it in circles. Its purpose was for couples to feel each other’s heartbeats across long distances; yours was only slightly faster than normal. Worry, he figured — worry over him.

That’s when he started to cry.

Not full-on crying, there were no body-wracking sobs or heartbreaking sounds torn from his throat. No, he just felt tears well up in his eyes and his lips turned down. He ran a hand callously over his face to wipe them away before texting back.

 

**_**—** Hi babe. Yeah I’m ok. Just woke up from a nightmare, that’s all_ **

**_I figured as much. Want me to Skype you? **—**_ **

**_**—** Tbh that would be fucking great if it’s not too much trouble_ **

**_You’re never too much trouble **—**_ **

 

He clicked on the lamp on his bedside table and ran a hand through his hair to loosen any knots that may have tangled in his sleep, then arranging his hair so it swept to the side more.

When his phone buzzed and chimed to alert him to your Skype call, he was ready, clicking the green ‘accept call’ button before the first ring had even finished.

“Thank you,” he blurted out before you had a chance to say anything.

“Anytime,” you replied simply. “Wanna talk about it?”

He shook his head and chewed on his lower lip with absentminded violence. “Just the same old shit. Remixed memories with just enough changed to make sure they still hurt.”

“I’m sorry, Bucky.”

“It’s okay.”

You hated when he gave that response, but he really didn’t know what else to say.

Sighing, you asked, “When are you coming home?”

Bucky checked the clock next to the lamp. “10 hours.”

You wanted to whine, _That long? It feels like forever._ But you knew that was the exact opposite of what he needed to hear from you. “That’s just sixty minutes repeated ten times. Or thirty minutes repeated twenty times. We can do that. No biggie. We’ve been apart longer before.”

You were right and he knew it. “I know. Just feels like forever.”

He hadn’t exactly taken the words out of your mouth, but you two shared the same thoughts more often than not these days. “I know.”

“What’re you up to today?”

“Uh, I have a doctor’s appointment at 10, then I’m gonna come home and clean and have dinner in the oven before you get here.”

Concern overtook him. “It’s almost 11 o’clock at night for you, what are you still doing up?”

You chuckled sardonically in response, “You say that as if I ever really sleep when you’re gone.” Bucky noticed you futzing with your own ring. “Seems like you’ve calmed down.”

“Idle chit-chat with you tends to do that.”

“Mm. What do you want for dinner when you get home?”

“Honestly, I got a hankering for your mac and cheese like nobody’s business,” he laughed softly.

“Mac and cheese it is then, handsome.”

“You’re an angel.”

“You tell me all the time. Anything else? I can pick up dessert or something from the grocery store.”

“Cake, maybe.”

“Your usual?”

“Yes please.”

Bucky took his ring off to gently hold it in his fist, but made sure to keep his hands visible to the camera and show you the ring in his hand so you could see what he’d done. He did that sometimes — feeling your heartbeat in the palm of his hand helped ground him in the here and now — but the first few times he’d done it without notifying you and you’d asked or texted him in a dither as to why his heart stopped.

You, though, have always had a tendency to touch your knuckles to your mouth while you think, for whatever reason. That’s how you prefer to focus on his pulse.

Even though he showed you he’d taken it off, the sudden halt in vibrations still managed to throw you off for a second.

Rings like these had been on the market worldwide for a few years, but always at absurd prices and with questionable functionality. The only reason you had them was because for your one-year anniversary, Bucky had wanted something personal but gotten stuck on what exactly was personal enough. He asked his friends and teammates (whose hearts were in the right places but whose ideas kind of... _sucked,_ honestly), but the idea came when he saw an advert for rings like these online. Peter had caught Bucky researching them and said that his teacher and her wife got a pair that barely even worked for their hefty price tag.

“I betcha Shuri could make you a good set for half the price,” he had suggested. “Maybe even free if she’s feeling generous.”

So Bucky asked Shuri if she’d be willing to give it a shot. He offered to pay whatever she would charge, but it seemed she was indeed feeling generous: “Don’t worry about it, white boy,” she’d said dismissively with a wave of her hand. “I always like a challenge. I’ll get these to you in no time.”

Long story short, the pair of you ended up with these fancy vibranium rings that transmitted your pulses to each other. It took some getting used to, having a rhythmic vibration on one of your fingers at all times, but it ended up giving you both more peace of mind than you could have ever imagined.

With all that being said, you weren’t married. You weren’t even engaged. At this point, with all you’ve been through, you might as well have been, but neither of you felt it was urgent.

And that was fine.

“You should get some sleep,” Bucky chided when he saw you try and stifle a yawn.

“I can’t,” you replied earnestly.

He knew why. You worried that if you slept and something happened to him while he was on a mission, you’d never be able to forgive yourself.

“I’ll be home soon,” he promised. “And I’ll even call you back when we get on the Quinjet. It’s not even a combat mission, it’s an item extraction.”

“You and I both know ‘item extraction mission’ almost always means ‘unseen enemies lurking in the foliage and waiting till the item is in your hands to strike.’”

Bucky laughed heartily, and it was a welcome change of pace after the panic that made you call. “I think you’ve been playing too much _Uncharted_ recently.”

“Hey, bite your tongue! I’ve been playing _just the right amount_ of _Uncharted!_ ”

“However much _Uncharted_ you’ve been playing, please try to get some sleep. You can’t survive on caffeine and anxiety till I get home, babe, that’s not good for you.”

“Blah. I’ll try. No promises.”

“Better than nothing.”

“Promise you’ll be safe?”

“I’ll do my best.”

“Better than nothing.”

There was a pause in which you just smiled fondly and tiredly at each other.

“Hey, I love you,” Bucky said, seeming to have blurted out the reminder out of nowhere.

He didn’t say it nearly as often as he should, but he was working on that, on telling people how he felt without worrying about the backlash, on expressing himself in healthy ways, on not belittling himself for his authentic emotions.

Your smile widened. “I love you too. Come home safe. I’ll have your mac and cheese waiting.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

As was your typical means of signing off a Skype call together, you both kissed your rings and waved before hanging up.

He would be fine. He could already smell the macaroni in the oven and taste your hello kiss and feel his hands in your hair.

His ring slowed its gentle buzzes to a resting pace. Your sleeping heart rate. _Finally._

Yeah. It was all gonna be fine.

**Author's Note:**

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